February 9, 2010

I have a heavy heart. For the last two years my now 15 year old son has been the main reason for most of my stress. Last January, he was diagnosed with depression and was admitted to a Behavior hospital for 7 days. He got better for awhile but still showed signs of problems other than depression. I believe that he is bipolar. My reasoning behind this is.... since the age of 3, he can be playing with every thing fine & good, then the next minute he was screaming about something wrong that was anyone's fault but his. His personality goes from calm to angry within seconds.

Now you reading this probably think - that does not really sound like bipolar. I've done alot of research on all reasons for children to act out and some sound like him and some don't. We do have a strong family history of bipolar.

My son is currently in the court system because he won't go to school. He had to repeat 1 semester of the 9th grade the beginning of this year and is now working on his 10th grade credits. The beginning of the year he quit taking his medication saying "it wasn't doing him any good" and refuses to take it. Now being in the court system means that for every 8 hours one misses school they spend 8 hours in jail. Right before Christmas he spent 2 weekends in jail and he hated it - in fact he "never wanted to go back there". He told me the other day that "he was not going to school and didn't care that he would have to go to jail, he would rather be in jail than at school. Also, that he didn't have a curfew and could come and go as he pleases and there isn't anything his dad or I can do about it"

One day he is rude - cussing and saying vulgar things, gets almost violent, *10 feet tall and bullet proof* so to speak; the next he wants a hug and tells me he loves me and seems normal.

I'm at a total loss on what to do. I have Health Resources, a behavior clinic working with me and the court system to try and figure out what is going on. I have requested that my son undergo a complete mental health evaluation and if he doesn't have a mental problem then I'm thinking about asking the judge to see if he will send him to ....... I don't know a military bootcamp or something. As a mom, this actually makes me feel pretty sorry, how can I send my son away?

Please post your opinion and give me ideas, suggestions, whatever. I will continue to pray for my son because I know that God loves him and he loves me. Jesus will carry my hurt and worry for me :)

I'll close this post with my devotion today:

Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; but we will remember the name of the Lord our God. Psalm 20:7